There were quite a number of helpful suggestions that were offered on hearing that my Dh had suddenly and unexpectedly built a completely unwarranted water feature in the garden. Amongst these were: "Do something equivalently unconcensual. Buy some homo-erotic art and hang it in your bedroom, opposite the bed."
and "Stick a sign on the feature saying: 'This has nothing to do with me'".
5 year old: "I went to a barbecue yesterday and I didn't get burnt."
Talking of the issue of locking one's Dh in or out of things, I was reminded of the incident at an HE meeting at the home of a normally quite normal HE family. It was one of those sort of days that had stretched towards evening without any sign of letting up. The stipulated end-time had been overrun by some four hours or so. Just as the hostess was opening what must have been at least the third bottle, a look of panic spread across her face, she let out a high pitched yelp, and grasping said bottle, left the room at some speed, to be seen a few seconds later belting down the garden, knocking children out the way and disappearing behind a hedge. It emerged that since the HE meeting looked to be a very busy one, she had considerately locked her Dh in his office shed for his own safety.
Continuing with the theme of locking Dh's in and out of things, which is proving curiously fertile, it seems... In one of our previous homes, I used have a on-going struggle with the ladder and it's accompanying attic. The ladder always seemed to be sitting there on upstairs landing, deliberately getting in the way, and the attic was one of those awkward ones which you have to get into by leaning sideways off the ladder, because the entrance to it came out directly over the stairwell. So, as per usual, I moved the ladder and then went to Sainsburys. When I got back, I was reliably informed by a rather distant voice, that Dh had spent the last 45 minutes contemplating the probable effects of a 30 foot drop and this after spending the first 45 mins trying to drag the ladder to him with an ingenious contraption involving fishing rods and an old door handle.