Monday, June 06, 2005


Peculiar weekend, dogged by total exhaustion. Weird effects thereoff: being unable to absorb 99% of the available information so that the images that did penetrate, burnt themselves in: mostly faces: friend's features refracting through vodka glass, a look of ferocious concentration on brother-in-law's face, another friend's index finger spouting blood like a volcano from the tip of it, trying to dress it, he completely sanguine, me shaking.

Another effect: dreams seemed as real, if not more so, than waking moments. These disturbed the peace.

Couldn't read to or with children as would fall asleep almost instantaneously. Played snap alot instead and Dh took over.

Then the occasional surprise that would wake me up for minutes at a time: one half of a couple who have happily and productively lived in an open and autonomy-respecting relationship for at least four years, suddenly and completely unexpectedly went suspicious on the other - tracking him down with clearly spurious phone calls. Couldn't establish what was happening by talking to the man of the couple. He was persistently flippant and jocular, which perhaps accounts for her alarm, am not sure. Will ask her asap.

Am panicking somewhat as am still exhausted and Dh away for the whole week. There are HE activities lined up for every day but cannot quite put this all together with this hallucination-inducing tiredness.

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