Tuesday, August 08, 2006

The Muddles We Make

By way of demonstrating very neatly why it is so important to have a good grasp of ethics and theories of knowledge and to be able to express these as clearly as possible, we have the following:

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours look's as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15 . My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Makes me realise quite how wonderful the theories of Taking Children Seriously really are. At least TCS grown-ups shouldn't be making these kinds of mistakes, ie: errors of thinking, judgement and expression!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh dear..I'm not quite at TCS standard yet!!!!
Fantastic ..thanks for this
JFT

Carlotta said...

"not quite a TCS standard yet!!!"

Lol...bet if we compared and contrasted, you'd find you were higher up the scale than me most days!

Anonymous said...

Oh I'm not so sure..
only the other day I told one of them not to do something and if they did hurt themselves not to come running!!!
To date I have used 1,4,7,8,9,11,12,14,16,18,20,21,22,
23,24,25.
Thank goodness for the scroll button on my mouse!!!
JFT xx

Carlotta said...

Lol...I will be counting mine this evening when I get back from work!