Cars

It says a considerable amount about my learning curve as of yesterday, that I have just typed that word into the title box. Even today I have to admit that I don't actually know a great deal about these things. For example, it remains the case that the sentence "that's a beautiful car" is a matter of some confusion to me. I do try to retain the fact that I just don't know how to judge a car aesthetically, but actually in my heart of hearts, I know that those specific words have, perhaps surprisingly, suddenly lost all possible capacity for any meaning whatsoever.

Strangely though this next sentence with similar sorts of words does actually make sense: "Yes, it is guacamole-coloured Morris Marina Coupe, H-reg; it looks fine to me and I've just bought it." I do see, however, that my position on cars may possibly be a legitimate source of great pain to my AlfaRomeo/Ducatti loving husband but I figured he'd coped so far and why rock the boat?

Things have been taken out of my hands, however. Since yesterday, I have been made to think little else other than cars. Dh got a friend of his...(no longer mine also) to come round and take my perfectly good car that has served me perfectly well over the last few years, and only broke down in perfectly understandable circumstances and usually in supermarket car parks where I could just get on with the shopping whilst waiting for the tow truck... away. Although I know where it has gone, I might have problems getting the keys, so I am now stuck with a thing that glints and swishes and swooshes - and it is horrible. I can't calm down and I can't stop thinking about it.

A new category of food has been invented in just one day. No longer are foodstuffs divided into fruit, veg, meats, carbs...We now have clean food and dirty food. Dirty food includes stuff that stains, is likely to shoot out of packaging, crumbles in any way, and cannot be organically thrown out of the window as you drive along.

And other road-users. By pure bad luck, they got considerably worse yesterday. There were hundreds of lorries with sheddable loads all over the place and car-users were pulling out of side junctions, left and right of us.

The only solution is to use this swishy thing one more time, learn how to hot-wire so that I can get my old car back and leave this one in it's place. Seems a fair exchange to me.